Perfection is My Enemy

I finally felt like writing. I don't have anything specific to say, just chatting it up. I totally failed at doing Mate Mondays. I'll try to pick it back up this week.

You know those moments in time where you think.... Woah. I'm here. Right now. In this place.

In those moments I like to question what I'm doing with my life.

What am I doing with my life?


I think I'm searching.
Searching for things that are right in front of me.
I think I'm avoiding.
Avoiding simple tasks.
I think I'm challenging.
Challenging my faith with all my doubts.
I think I'm breaking down.
Breaking down old barriers I've put up to guard myself.
I think I'm growing.
Growing up.

That came out more "poetic-y" than I meant it to. In fact, in the beginning I wasn't even going to answer the question. Just leave it open ended.

I don't even know what I'm talking about. That's okay. It's healthy not to know what you're talking about every once in a while. That is a nice change.

Change.
I don't like it. I never have. Yet, things are changing all around me. My friends are growing up and I feel as though I'm getting younger with time. More naive. It's a strange concept. Not foreign though. I don't think I'm making sense.

Making sense.
Must we always have an end to our means? a means to our end? Whatever the saying is, I don't think we should. If that doesn't make sense nothing ever will.

Nothing ever will.
Nothing will ever be perfect until the world is made new. Only God is perfect. That's it. There is no perfect relationship. Perfection is my enemy.

Enemy.
Are there any left that haven't kissed the enemy? Threw in a little Switchfoot reference there. It's an interesting concept. Kissing the enemy. Horrible... but interesting. It is kind of like playing with fire. Dangerous and stupid.

Stupid.
Lots of things are stupid. Bracelets that are itchy... stupid! You know what is also stupid? Living by yourself. Atleast for me, that sounds stupid. I would never want to live alone. I'd atleast have to have a pet with me. Some form of constant communication that reveals that I'm not alone.

Alone.
I hate being alone. Every once in a while is okay... but I never particularly like it. If I could I would be with a friend at any particular time.

Time.
Time freaks me out. It's constantly passing. Constantly. Right.... now. And. Now. Crazy, right? Just think about it. Since Adam and Eve time has been rolling by ever so sneakily. It ticks life away. I almost broke out into a Linkin Park song right there.

Right there.
GAH! Some things seem so close. Like they are RIGHT THERE. Yet when I try to reach them or work on them they are so NOT close to being done. Like my story for instance. I feel like I should be wrapping it up... but no. Alas, I am way behind.

Behind.
My cat Lucy has a big behind. I love my kitties. They bring me joy. I woke up one morning and realized I was using Lucy as a pillow. She didn't seem to mind at all.


Alright. I'm done with the starting with the last word of each section. So, I'm listening to music I used to be into. AKA N*SYNC and Backstreet Boys. I used to love me some boy bands back in the day. Some of their stuff isn't half bad. The harmonies are pretty stellar.

Okay. Yeah. Whatever. Uh huh. Sure.
This blog is getting long.
I'll cut it off here.

Until next time,

Cecelia "it-has-been-too-long" Melody